Navigation challenges

One of the most difficult challenges I face is how to navigate the minefield of having (1) an active alcoholic husband who (2) remains in the home we own and (3) is letting it get quite run-down but (4) won't discuss how to approach the situation because (5) there's always an excuse (no sleep, fell down, etc.) because of (1).  As for my own excuses, I work a 50-60-70+ hour a week job, the marital home is about 20 miles from where I live and work, and I just don't have the energy to tackle the cleanup that's needed. 

But I want resolution of the housing issue.  I'm still hopeful that Al & I will resume our lives together (although that date is now pushed off until at least July 1, 2012, as he'd been drinking when I saw him on July 1, 2011), it's unlikely that it will be in the home in which he's now residing.  It's just too much of a house for me, too far from work, too much upkeep.  And too full of sad memories. 

Al says he doesn't know where to begin.  He has no answers, he tells me.  Consistent with my personality, I have a lot of answers:  Start weeding, start trimming the overgrown outside bushes.  Start cleaning up.  Start brushing the dogs.  Clean out the bird cage.  Look around from the standpoint of a buyer, and do what needs to be done to sell or rent the place. 

Al's paralyzed to do the simple (but admittedly tedious) tasks required.  I accompanied Al to an AA-Al-Anon picnic on Friday.  A softball game ensued, Al playing 3rd base.  During one play, a runner was running to 3rd, and someone else threw Al the ball.  It was a short throw; Al didn't catch it, but he also made little effort to retrieve it 5-10 feet away.  The runner was safe on 3rd, and another team member retrieved the ball.  It was the first inning, and Al played no more.  Yes, he'd been drinking. 

That game is sort of a metaphor for how he's acting now.  He misses easy balls lobbed in his direction; he has no enthusiasm or energy to chase them down, however close.  It's all well and good for me to accept the things I cannot change, but our current situation puts me in an awkward predicament, especially when I want to move on getting my own place, etc. 

And he thinks he's the one with no answers.