Detachment again

Jeez, I'm having a problem detaching.  Intellectually, I think I understand it, but practicing it is just not part of my learned constitution.  Oh, I've successfully physically detached.  But emotionally, mentally?  Uh uh. 

I don't think I'm alone.  I note that in both of my little Al-Anon books, One Day At a Time in Al-Anon and Courage to Change, "detachment" has more entries in the index than virtually any other subject.  One passage that I found today seemed like it was written directly to and for me:

I will not interfere with the activities of the alcoholic, or watch over him, counsel him, or assume his responsibilities.  He must have the same freedom to make his own decisions as I have, since he must suffer for them if they are wrong. 

One Day At a Time in Al-Anon, p. 250

So much easier said than done. I know we're told that all behaviors are learned - but I I still think at least a little bit of altruism is instinctive.  What human would stand back and take joy watching someone suffer because they made a wrong decision?  Perhaps those who are extraordinarily callous - a tiny minority.  For the rest of us, it's unnatural.  But I get it's necessary.

But if I keep conscious of my need to step back, not counsel, watch or assume responsibilities for Al, I know that it will help the both of us. 

God, grant me the courage to change the things I can (but otherwise help me keep my mouth shut).