Way back when, I dumped my then-boyfriend for Al*. At the time, Al & I joked often about how he was always the dump-ee, and (generally, at least) I was the dump-or. That was nearly 15 years ago. Now I find myself again in the role of dump-or, but this time I'm really reluctant. I don't want to dump Al. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. But I can't do that. I've never been an unwilling dump-or, but I guess there's a first for everything.
This will be my journey. I've blogged before, and it was cathartic during a difficult time in my life, and afterwards. I hope this will be too.
A little about Al. He's a good man. He's incredibly depressed, and strongly addicted to alcohol. He's tried to address both. He's been to rehab twice, once as an outpatient, once inpatient. I used to think that both "took" for awhile, but now I'm not sure. As a matter of fact, I'm not sure of anything. Al has lied to me so often I don't know what's real anymore. The lot of an alcoholic spouse, I guess.
I want to document my journey; some of my posts will be reflective, some factual (or at least my perception of fact). Many will be self-revealing, but I suspect they're not unusual. Many have traveled the path I'm now traveling. Many are perhaps only starting the journey, like I am. All are welcome, to read, and, if moved, to comment.
But please respect my need for anonymity, in the traditions of AA and AlAnon.
*By the way (doh) Al is not his real name.
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